The Mindless Need to Beautify

As a fellow disgruntled Zoomer, I will admit that I have succumbed to the temptation of aimlessly scrolling on TikTok before. You can’t blame me too much, since TikTok is one of the most widely used social media apps and a lot of fun can be had with it.

Still, like other people, I’ve had the maddening experience of laying on my bed at night and endlessly scrolling on the app, when I really should have been falling asleep.

2 minutes turn into 10, then 30, and then a whole hour or maybe two.

It’s the main reason I had deleted the app off my phone, only to redownload it, then delete it, and then download it again.

At the time of writing, I do have TikTok on my phone but I am proud to say I seldom use it. I only really open it when a friend is sharing a video with me or when I want to look up something very specific.

Anyway, before that, I remember back when I first started using the app. I had not yet created an account and I was scrolling on the main page.

For whatever reason, there came a point where I was being bombarded with a specific genre of video.

Fitness/Workout videos.

Whether you’re a gym rat or not, these are videos that we all come across at some point.

But they weren’t really videos that were instructive or educational in nature. Like videos that tell you how to do an exercise with proper form and intensity to prevent injury, or videos that guide you on how to build and maintain a healthy, nutritious diet.

Rather, they were videos that were more self-indulgent and performative. They were made effectively to ‘show off’.

People posing for the camera while being shirtless or wearing compression clothing. Flexing for the audience with flattering camera angles and lighting conditions. Post-workout pump displays that are presumably designed to receive compliments for one’s appearance.

It is also worth noting that a lot of creators, in order to get more positive attention, edit their videos to make their bodies look different from what it looks like in reality.

When you look at the comments for the videos, you obviously see people admiring or crushing on the creator. But, most notably, you witness people expressing their dissatisfaction with how they look in comparison to the person they’re seeing.

Saying things like “This is my dream bod” or “I’m crying that I do not look like this”.

Eventually, I created a personal TikTok account, and the videos on my Home page were tailored more towards my actual interests. After that, I began to have better experiences on the app when I would scroll through videos on my own.

Nonetheless, those initial TikTok videos I was constantly shown have stuck with me. I was seeing a shallow part of workout culture focused primarily on aesthetics, vanity, and not much else.

They highlighted an ever-present feature of our current culture that I wished to think more about: the need to be seen as ‘beautiful’.

I assume the reader is well aware that what counts as beautiful depends on the sociohistorical in which we are speaking.

When speaking of women specifically, Western beauty standards today are surely not identical to those of the 1920s, which favored a more androgynous, flat-chested appearance. Or those of the Renaissance period, where large, full-figured bodies were considered the epitome of Western beauty.

We honestly do not even have to go back that far to see discrepancies.

Many adults living today can remember a time in the 90s when being extremely thin was seen as desirable, with several models having to be subjected to stringent weight loss plans. That stands in stark contrast to the idealization of curviness and of being ‘slim-thick’ which we have seen in recent years.

Paleness has also been a marker for being beautiful.

Only now we are seeing a lot of white people in the West desiring darker skin and frequently going to tanning salons. Ironically enough, largely due to Western cultural hegemony, we can simultaneously see people in several Asian and African countries idolizing lighter skin, using skin-brightening products in order to achieve it for themselves.

The physical features of black people, especially women, were long considered to be undesirable in mainstream Western culture. Now, that view is less common, as some people even express an essentializing preference for black men or women.

East Asian people were generally seen as alien and less attractive in the eyes of Westerners. However, the popularity of cultural exports like Anime and K-pop has played a role in changing that attitude and led some to even fetishize East Asians as a group.

Finally, a person living today will experience varying receptions to their appearance depending on where they are.

A tall, hairy, muscular, dark-skinned man may be seen as conventionally attractive in the eyes of American women. Though if that man were to be placed in South Korea, the women there are likely to have a less positive judgment in comparison.

I say all this to make a point: beauty standards are not objective, as they are ultimately determined by the changing sentiments of those who create and enforce them.

You may be beautiful today, and not tomorrow. You may be beautiful in one place, but not the other.

This would mean that a goal to be the most beautiful person is in a sense unachievable.

I wish to tie this back to fitness culture nowadays.

While this is certainly not universal, there is this assumption that men need to lose body fat, have a six-pack, and be very muscular in order for women to like them. It’s a major motivator for men choosing to go to the gym on a regular basis.

At the same thing, many women are striving to achieve the slim, toned look that is now trending, with an emphasis on growing their lower body.

Now, I am not trying to critique people who exercise in order to be physically healthy. Losing or gaining weight and improving one’s cardiovascular health can have material benefits to a person’s life, ones that can be universally understood outside of a given social context.

Everyone should strive to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and for most people that entails doing some amount of physical exercise.

But I am not really speaking of those people.

I am specifically talking about those who exercise to get validation from others for their appearance. Those who strive to uphold and conform to beauty standards that happen to be fashionable today.

Some of the standards are even unattainable to many people, as their genetic makeup causes them to have a particular bone structure, body fat distribution, metabolism, and shape to their body.

Nevertheless, due to what is shown to be the ideal body, they become unsatisfied with their bodies, even when they exercise. They feel that others got lucky with their bodies, and that they have ‘bad genetics’.

Body dysmorphia is a common issue experienced by avid gymgoers. Even though they are physically fit and rather muscular, they’ll always be comparing themselves to different people and perpetually feel that there is another muscle that needs to be worked on.

On top of that, the use of cosmetic procedures or performance-enhancing drugs can become an appealing option.

To varying extents, people then act as if they are professional bodybuilders, as if their worth is dependent upon the physical growth of their bodies.

I know that a lot of these people would say that they go to the gym for their own personal development or for self-love. That they only go for themselves, not for anyone else.

But, as I talked about previously in my post about romantic love, our actions are not done in a vacuum, which includes those that entail trying to change so much of our physical appearance.

Beauty standards are social in origin and in practice.

Individuals try to conform to them because of the positive reception they will receive from others as a result. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be much of a reason to post aesthetic videos of yourself for the world to see.

If a person lived in isolation away from society, I doubt that consistently trying to conform to a beauty standard would be a priority for them.

Another thing to note is that people often look to beautify their bodies to attract a gender they are attracted to. In other words, they are seeking a sexual and/or romantic partner.

But people are often mistaken in this regard.

The fitness industry has been booming year-over-year in North America, with fitness centers becoming increasingly accessible. Social media has also played a role in its lucrative success. By viewing posts of others’ bodies, users are constantly reminded that there are various beauty standards that need to be achieved for themselves.

Nonetheless, individuals are simultaneously becoming more lonely. I’ve talked about this in another post, but more young adults today are more likely to be virgins and not have a significant other when they would prefer to. Finding a long-term, committed relationship is becoming more and more difficult.

Many people believe adopting some idealized appearance is key to finding a good partner, but there is clearly a lot more to the story to say the least.

Fixating on constantly beautifying oneself can be indicative of misplaced priorities.

There are so many interests one can take for their personal development. Creating visual art, making music, playing sports, hiking, writing, cooking, joining a book club, and so on.

These things allow us to create something, to express ourselves, to connect with other people, and to learn more about the world that we humans are so curious about.

Frequently working out for beauty purposes is not really associated with these benefits.

Though it can be healthy and stimulating, it is largely a self-centered and vainglorious activity. Though one can certainly make friends with people at their local gym, that is not the primary expressed goal, and most people are just focused on themselves.

Those who seek beauty go to complete the same exercises and movements repeatedly only to conform to a certain body standard. It is ultimately quite shallow.

To use an anecdote, I remember talking with someone who identified as gay. He shared how he has had issues with his self-image and had a negative perception of his appearance in relation to other men.

At one point, he said something like, “In the gay world, I’m not considered hot”.
This was his main, if not only, motivator for going to the gym frequently.

He had some idealized view of what a gay man should look like to be attractive. And, from the looks of it, striving to achieve it was a test of his own worth as a gay person.

It seemed very odd to me.

I have seen many gay couples (and of course straight couples) with different body types and modes of appearance. Couples who are seemingly happy without conforming to an idealized beauty standard or going to the gym every single day.

Also, there are people who sleep around quite a bit, whether they are conventionally attractive or not.

As it so happens, the gay person I mentioned also admitted to me that he has never been in a real relationship with another person.

He wasn’t a virgin though. He has had his share of sexual encounters before he even started focusing on exercising.

Yet, even though he always looked perfectly healthy, he explicitly said that he needed more guys to like him, that going to the gym was a means to that end.

Like I just said, you can go outside and see so many couples on the street holding hands. People of all shapes, sizes, and complexions. Many of them not really trying to conform to conventional beauty standards.

If one finds a lasting, fulfilling, and mutually benefitting relationship, it is often through their personality, their interests, and the environments they place themselves in.

We’re arguably becoming more concerned nowadays about beauty and our self-image from a young age, yet that has not been translating into more romantic relationships, or even mere sexual ones.

I can sporadically go on with these thoughts for a while.

I haven’t even gotten to the issue of cosmetic surgery and the multi-billion dollar industry that comes with it. Nose reshaping, liposuction, breast augmentation, neck lifts, lip filler and so much more.

People looking to change so much of their natural face and body to fit a certain standard at a given time. Only often for that standard to change some years later.

It is very rare for a person to be born believing their body is ugly or unworthy of admiration, as it is often through social influences and the presentations of other bodies that we come to think we need to change our own.

With all that, there is a growing need to recognize everyone is ‘uniquely beautiful’, having their own natural body with distinct features.

What makes something special is that it stands out, it is different from other things.

Every human being (except for identical twins I suppose) is unique in their looks and their personality. And that uniqueness is what attracts your close friends, and a committed, loving partner that is right for you.

Again, striving to be healthy in your life is important, and so is trying to be comfortable with yourself.

However, there is so much more to a person and their happiness than how much they conform to the changing beauty standards of their time.

As we find our way on this earth, it is far more worthwhile to instead focus on developing our ‘self’. Our interests. Our abilities. Our character. Our mind.

That is fundamentally what defines a person. That is what allows you to make your mark on the world, and what people will remember you for.

That is what makes us, in the social sense of the word, distinctly human.